Sahi jawaab!!!...kahaan?
Well, it all began a long time ago, in a fancy dress competition when I was three. I was dressed up as a cute little doctor. For a long time after that( I won a prize for my act), people started adding the doctor prefix to my name; my family in the hope that I'd become one when I grew up, the others just because they had been taught the social rules of being nice to friends' young ones. I grew up with Florence Nightingale as the role model, with the intention of alleviating the world's suffering.
Then one day I realised, doctors were not only supposed to give injections and scribble down prescriptions in gibberish, but treat diseases like piles and handle all that blood during pregnancy. My respect for doctors went up 5 rungs, but the desire to be one was obliterated. My career path changed. I decided mathematics was my forte and I was carved out to be a theoretician. All this because I topped my maths exam with 68 marks( says a lot about the rest of my class). But a couple of years down the line, and a few more math courses later, I realised the field of mathematics was not ready for me yet!
Then there was this short period of time, when things cleared up and I saw sense in pursuing engineering, as most sensible people of my age group seemed to be doing just then. So a couple of years struggle for one exam that would apparently make my life and a little luck, I climbed the first step towards being a promising engineer. In those four years, I must have thought of as many careers as a person could in that period of time. There was journalism, theatre, English literature, counseling, free-lance writing (oops!) and the sorts. Note that most of it steered clear of all that was science.
Life went on, I graduated as an engineer and not knowing what else to do, I landed half way across the globe to continue further studies. My parents are proud of the fact that their daughter is going to be a postgraduate (ugh! The word makes me sound so old and boring, which I assure you I am not). While life goes on in the fast lane, it's once again brought me to the crossroads where I need to know what I want to do next.
I could climb Mount Everest up and back ten times if only it would give me the answer to the question. 42 you may say, but that doesnt help. I toss and turn in my sleep, while I dream about all the wrong choices I make that leave me on the streets. I ask people around me if they know what they want of life, if only in the hope that most of them will reply in the negative, thereby not making me feel like a freak. But they disappoint me by rattling away about all they want to do till the minute they die.
There's all the talk of oppression against women. They say it was the mean man who wanted to feel good about himself and confined woman to 4 walls and pots and pans. Lately I wonder if it was some smart woman who set up that system of life. Do a little cooking and cleaning and have the rest of the day for yourself. Not a bother about wasting time, for that's what you were supposed to do. Who wants to go out into the world and earn bread and make oneself useful. So if any of you know a rich guy who wants a wife just to sit at home( I understand such a man would be in need of immediate medical attention for his state of mind), do recommend. Till then, I shall sit around and try and find what it is that I want to do with my life.
Then one day I realised, doctors were not only supposed to give injections and scribble down prescriptions in gibberish, but treat diseases like piles and handle all that blood during pregnancy. My respect for doctors went up 5 rungs, but the desire to be one was obliterated. My career path changed. I decided mathematics was my forte and I was carved out to be a theoretician. All this because I topped my maths exam with 68 marks( says a lot about the rest of my class). But a couple of years down the line, and a few more math courses later, I realised the field of mathematics was not ready for me yet!
Then there was this short period of time, when things cleared up and I saw sense in pursuing engineering, as most sensible people of my age group seemed to be doing just then. So a couple of years struggle for one exam that would apparently make my life and a little luck, I climbed the first step towards being a promising engineer. In those four years, I must have thought of as many careers as a person could in that period of time. There was journalism, theatre, English literature, counseling, free-lance writing (oops!) and the sorts. Note that most of it steered clear of all that was science.
Life went on, I graduated as an engineer and not knowing what else to do, I landed half way across the globe to continue further studies. My parents are proud of the fact that their daughter is going to be a postgraduate (ugh! The word makes me sound so old and boring, which I assure you I am not). While life goes on in the fast lane, it's once again brought me to the crossroads where I need to know what I want to do next.
I could climb Mount Everest up and back ten times if only it would give me the answer to the question. 42 you may say, but that doesnt help. I toss and turn in my sleep, while I dream about all the wrong choices I make that leave me on the streets. I ask people around me if they know what they want of life, if only in the hope that most of them will reply in the negative, thereby not making me feel like a freak. But they disappoint me by rattling away about all they want to do till the minute they die.
There's all the talk of oppression against women. They say it was the mean man who wanted to feel good about himself and confined woman to 4 walls and pots and pans. Lately I wonder if it was some smart woman who set up that system of life. Do a little cooking and cleaning and have the rest of the day for yourself. Not a bother about wasting time, for that's what you were supposed to do. Who wants to go out into the world and earn bread and make oneself useful. So if any of you know a rich guy who wants a wife just to sit at home( I understand such a man would be in need of immediate medical attention for his state of mind), do recommend. Till then, I shall sit around and try and find what it is that I want to do with my life.
posted by Satyashree Srikanth at 12:23 AM
90 comments
