Growing or not?

Oh yes, this must be one of the most used titles and definitely one of the most battered topics. But I couldn’t think of a better fitting heading for what is to follow.

I live in Bangalore, one of the fastest growing cities in the world. Over the 12 years that I have lived here (I used to visit once a month the 4 years I studied in Chennai), I have seen it grow from a lovable small city to one with huge buildings and so many vehicles that at night, it looks like one of those photos of New York or someplace that amazed me all those years ago. I see people in swanky cars, go to really good-looking restaurants and wear the most stylish clothes. The cost of living is higher and young kids just out of school earn as much as their dads do after an eternity of slavery! Bangalore is truly cosmopolitan, growing the west way, even as its ‘Indian ness’ is nurtured in laidback pockets of city.

Some may argue that this kind of growth only widens the chasm separating the rich and the poor. While Narayana Murthy and Vijay Mallya make all the money, what happens to those who really suffer from the increasing population, those who live on the banks of the city gutter, share a room with four other people? Why is it that this section of the society remains there?

The maid who works at our place is definitely someone who belongs in this category. But it is amazing what she has transformed into ever since she came to work with us, that when we moved into Bangalore ourselves. She was a little girl then, 4-5 years older than I, completely ignorant of the ways of the world. She started working to support her family, whose only male member was invalid, not physically though. A drunk, her father forgot all his worries about his family when she took charge. She put her younger brothers in school, hoping they wouldn’t follow in the father’s path. But that wouldn’t happen. After about 2 years of irregular schooling and shelling of their sister’s hard earned money, the boys left school in favour of playing with the street urchins.

Years passed. All of her family drifted away, some in jail and some god-knows-where. This girl grew and in time learnt how to save money for the All her well meaning employers, that includes my mom, wanted her to get a life of her own and urged her to settle down with some man who would compensate, if only partly, for all the troubles she had borne all those years. Well, she did find one such person. His family seemed nice at least. The sisters were educated and worked as nurses. His brother earned enough to keep his wife and kids happy. All of us were finally glad that our maid had found a good home.

Things were okay the first year of their marriage. The husband earned, she resumed work. Then the troubles began. He turned out to be a drunk; one who spent all his money on gamble initially, and after a while stopped earning completely. She had two children in quick succession, which she claims was against her own wishes. She wants for them a life very different from her own. They go to school, where she hopes they’ll learn things that’ll make them great men. All this while the husband lives on her money, comes home drunk and beats her up. He is nothing but a huge burden, one that creates the exact picture that she is trying desperately to keep her children away from.

None of the women’ rights can get her to change the situation. For she still believes that man is the God of the house and it is the wife’s duty to adjust! Why would the husband do anything to change that ideology? He will rule royally, as long as there are people who want to be trampled under his feet.

This is not a typical case. We see people all around us holding fast to what was once prescribed by the older generations. We tend to forget that then was a complete different time from now. Society still plays a hugely important role, one that sometimes could stunt your growth. But we take it all in the name of fate. What we lack is the instinct to fight. Against that which hinders our progress, against superstitions, against blind beliefs, and most importantly against that society that tends to make a puppet out of each of us, given half a chance.